So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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