Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
