The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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