first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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