This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
