well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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