OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
