Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
