Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she looked like the before picture.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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