Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
