The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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