I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
