Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
