He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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