he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
