What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
