would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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