just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
