Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
