I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
