We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
