i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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