hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize