This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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