his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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