I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
