i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
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Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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