Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think my fart just growled at me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
