is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
