I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
