Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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