with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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