Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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