need another drink. this is the easiest way
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
