This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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