I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
