Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
