Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
