proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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