If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
