I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
