is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize