OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Where is the hickey?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
