What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
