we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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