Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
