Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
