Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
