All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
