You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
