you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
