I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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