Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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