p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
