Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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