JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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