i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im six kinds of drunk right now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
