She is in my trunk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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