Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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