A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
