i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
