Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
