i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
